Why do new mothers get so mad when people give their advice?

I was the same way when I was pregnant and after I had my baby. I would get so mad when people would give me advice about how to do things. I would get so stubborn and get mad. Now I look back and a lot of those suggestions were very good suggestions. After I got over my stubborness, I used those suggestions and they work really well. Why do we act like that though?Why do new mothers get so mad when people give their advice?
Everyone wants to be a great parent and we're all terrified that we won't be. We get defencive when someone tries to give advice because we feel like we're being attacked even though people are just trying to be helpful and pass on their experience.Why do new mothers get so mad when people give their advice?
i guess it is because when we were little we hated it for ex: don't eat that you'll get sick so we would eat it then get sick and wish we would have listened we just thought we had all the answers and hated it when people would tell us what to do i know when i became a mother for the first time i actually listened to the advise of other mothers and chose which one might actually work heck i still do
I think it is because once you get confident enough to even go out into the world to show off you baby, people are quick to tell you what they think you are doing wrong.I have a 6 month old and I hate it when people tell me what I SHOULD DO with a child I carried for 9 months and they just met for 9 minutes! No child is the same, and frankly it is no one elses business.
lol,,, i done the same thing and then once anyone had a baby drove them mad with advice....


in my case everyone was giving me advice all the time, most of it contradicting with another persons, everyone thinks they are a expert and everyone thinks they know everything, it does get a bit of a pain when everyones on your case telling you what is right, when all you want people to do is leave you alone and let you get on with it, perhaps if people waited to someone asked for advice rather than pushing it then we wouldn't get the hump about it





having said all that i still do it to other people!!!
Even though they are ';suggestions'; we feel like we are being told what to do. That and trying to adjust to a new way of life in our own way, on our own terms and time. You are right though, much of the advice was useful, just given at the wrong time.
it probably has something to do with how new mothers already question themselves and feel that they arent doing things right/good enough. and when someone gives advice we look at it as is it that ovbious im not doing it right?!?
Because you want to come up with the solutions for yourself.





Some things my mother and mother-in-law suggested wasn't right......it was right 30 years OK....but some of those things had changed.





When my daughter has her first child....I'll give advice when and if I'm asked.
we all ahve a fantasy of how we will do thing so much better than anyone else. thank god this phase doesnt last long. Then I think it gets replaced with I've had so many kids now that I totally know what I'm doing and I think that's when we grow into really bonding and knowing our child/ren that we become mom.
Because while others may know from experience, as a new mom, we're not perfect but we'd certainly like to try things out and learn on our own. And I also remember getting VERY upset with a family member of mine because when my newborn was crying she took him and insisted she knew what was wrong with him. She took off his clothes, his diaper, tried burping him and I just took him away from her and said the reason he was freaking out was because there was a housefull of people he'd never seen before. He was stressed out from being held and around loud people.





Advice is one thing, taking over is another. And there's a very fine line in between.
I think its because we all want to be good mothers and don't like the idea of people telling us what to do like we're stupid. Also we get so much of it that we're sick of hearing about it and parenting is a lot different now than when our grandparents were raising children.
Because you are already feeling overwhelmed and insecure enough and you don't need other people pointing it out to you by giving unsolicited advice.





Honestly, the only advice I ever took was my pediatrician's or the advice I actively sought. And it hasn't seemed to hurt my son yet. He's a great kid at 16.
I think personally new mum's get mad because they want to learn from their own mistakes rather than be told by someone else about the mistakes of other people. I hated getting told what to do with my baby my oldest is 13(nearly)and my youngest is 1 and people still tried to tell me wot do to with my daughter
'advice' is too great a word.(I do really fear to use it when I do not know who the beneficiary is and how he /she will use /interpret it! But if you feel happy then good -no worry ; must be one amongst the happiest being!
I think it's because everyone has different views on how to raise children. For example, some of my relatives do things that I would NEVER do, yet were trying to push their beliefs on my husband and me. I think a new mother is also nervous and unsure about how she's doing enough without people telling her how to do things; it just makes her more self - conscious. The rule of thumb is that unless the parent is doing something that could cause serious bodily harm/death to the child, well - meaning people should bite their tongues and only give advice when asked for it. Trust me, there have been times when I've wanted to ';share'; some advice, but I keep quiet because I know it might be taken poorly.